Have you ever noticed how certain phrases can completely undermine your authority in the workplace? I recently watched a short video from Advice with Erin that highlighted a common communication issue many professionals face – the overuse of hesitant language that weakens our message.
The video pinpointed a specific verbal habit that plagues many of us in professional settings: constantly prefacing statements with “I feel like.” This seemingly harmless phrase actually diminishes our credibility and makes our professional opinions sound like mere suggestions.
Why “I Feel Like” Is Killing Your Credibility
When we use phrases like “I feel like option two is better” instead of directly stating “Option two is better,” we’re unconsciously undermining our expertise. The speaker in the video demonstrated how this tentative language appears in various workplace scenarios:
- Making recommendations: “I feel like option two is better” vs. “Option two is better”
- Addressing problems: “I feel like we’re behind schedule” vs. “We’re behind schedule”
- Discussing client relationships: “I feel like this client is being difficult” vs. “This client is being difficult”
The difference is subtle but significant. By removing the “I feel like” prefix, statements instantly become more authoritative and direct.
The Psychology Behind Hesitant Language
Why do we do this? In my experience, this habit often stems from a desire to appear non-confrontational or to soften our opinions. Women particularly tend to use these linguistic softeners more frequently, having been socialized to appear less assertive or demanding.
However, in professional settings, this habit can be costly. When we constantly qualify our statements with “I feel like,” we’re essentially giving others permission to dismiss our thoughts as mere feelings rather than informed professional judgments.
Small tweak, huge difference.
As the speaker aptly noted, this small linguistic change can make a huge difference in how others perceive our competence and authority.
Practical Ways to Strengthen Your Communication
Based on the video’s insights, here are some practical ways to strengthen your professional communication:
- Audit your language – Pay attention to how often you use phrases like “I feel like,” “I think maybe,” or “kind of”
- Practice direct statements – When making recommendations or observations, state them directly
- Be clear about boundaries – Instead of “I feel like that’s not my job,” try “That’s outside my scope of work”
The goal isn’t to become aggressive or inflexible, but rather to communicate with clarity and confidence. Your expertise deserves to be presented without unnecessary qualifiers.
When Hesitant Language Is Appropriate
There are certainly times when softer language has its place. When brainstorming, giving feedback on creative work, or discussing sensitive personal matters, phrases like “I feel” can be appropriate and helpful. The key is being intentional about when and how you use such language.
The most important takeaway from the video is awareness. Many of us don’t realize how frequently we undermine our own authority through these subtle linguistic habits. By becoming more conscious of our word choices, we can present ourselves as the capable professionals we truly are.
Next time you’re in a meeting or sending an important email, take a moment to review your language. Are you unnecessarily qualifying your statements? Are you presenting your professional judgment as merely a feeling? Small tweaks to your communication style can indeed make a huge difference in how your contributions are received and valued.