We’ve all been there. A coworker casually drops a task on your desk as if they have the authority to delegate work to you. “Hey, can you check your email? I just need you to finish up this client proposal. It shouldn’t take more than an hour.” The request sounds innocent enough, but there’s an underlying issue that needs addressing.
In a recent video, Advice with Erin tackled this common workplace challenge, and it resonated deeply with me. The scenario she presented is one many of us face: a peer-level colleague who consistently tries to offload their work onto others.
The Wrong Way to Respond
When faced with an inappropriate work request from a colleague, our first instinct might be to respond defensively: “For the last time, you are not my boss. You can’t tell me what to do.” While this directly addresses the issue, it creates unnecessary tension and can damage professional relationships.
I’ve witnessed this approach backfire numerous times. The confrontational tone often escalates the situation rather than resolving it. Even if you’re right about the boundary violation, how you communicate that boundary matters tremendously in a professional setting.
A Better Approach to Boundary Setting
Erin demonstrates a much more effective response that maintains professionalism while firmly establishing boundaries. Instead of a defensive reaction, try: “I’ll have to check in with my manager before moving forward on that.”
This response accomplishes several things at once:
- It acknowledges the request without agreeing to it
- It establishes that you have a reporting structure that doesn’t include them
- It shifts the authority decision to the appropriate person
- It maintains a professional, non-confrontational tone
When your colleague pushes back with “It’s not a big deal” or “It’ll only take an hour,” stand firm with your boundary. You might say: “I wish I could help out, but I’m currently tasked with the quarterly review. If you need help, you can check with my manager to see if I can be staffed on proposals instead.”
Why This Matters
Setting boundaries at work isn’t just about avoiding extra work. It’s about maintaining the integrity of organizational structure and ensuring your time is spent on priorities aligned with your role and responsibilities. When we allow colleagues to delegate work to us inappropriately, we:
- Enable behavior that disrupts workplace hierarchy
- Take on responsibilities that may not align with our goals
- Create precedents that are difficult to break later
- Potentially neglect our actual priorities
I’ve learned through experience that the colleagues who try to delegate sideways often continue this pattern if not addressed. What starts as “just an hour” of work can quickly become a regular expectation.
The Art of Soft Words and Hard Boundaries
What struck me most about Erin’s advice was her closing thought: “Be soft with your words, but hard on your boundary.” This perfectly captures the balance we should aim for in professional settings.
The softness in our communication preserves relationships and workplace harmony. The firmness in our boundaries preserves our professional autonomy and ensures we’re focused on our actual responsibilities.
Remember that setting boundaries is nobody’s job but yours. Managers and colleagues can’t read your mind, and they may not realize they’re crossing a line unless you communicate it clearly.
The next time a peer tries to delegate work to you, take a breath before responding. Choose words that are professional yet firm. Reference the proper channels for work assignment. And most importantly, don’t feel guilty about protecting your time and role clarity.
Your career growth depends not just on the work you do, but also on your ability to manage workplace relationships and expectations effectively. Master the art of boundary-setting, and you’ll find yourself respected not just for your work product, but for your professional clarity as well.