We’ve all been there. Someone compliments your work, and suddenly you’re stammering, deflecting praise, or worse—going overboard with false modesty. “Oh, it was nothing” or “Just got lucky, I guess.” Why is it so difficult to simply say “thank you” and acknowledge our accomplishments?
I recently watched a video that perfectly captured this workplace dilemma. The speaker, Erin, highlighted something that resonated deeply with me: hard work doesn’t get you promoted—visible work does. This simple truth explains why so many talented people get overlooked while others advance.
The problem isn’t just modesty—it’s that many of us never learned how to talk about our achievements without sounding like that person everyone avoids at office happy hours. You know the type: “Oh, which client was that? I’ve had so many successful pitches lately, I get confused.” Nobody wants to be that person.
Why We Struggle With Self-Promotion
For many of us, the discomfort stems from childhood lessons about humility. We were taught that “bragging” is rude and that letting our work “speak for itself” is the noble approach. But in today’s workplace, this mindset can be career suicide.
When I reflect on my own career trajectory, the periods of fastest growth always coincided with times I became more comfortable articulating my value. Not coincidentally, these were also times when my contributions became more visible to decision-makers.
The “Friend Technique” That Changes Everything
The most practical tip from Erin’s advice is what I call the “friend technique.” Instead of feeling awkward about promoting yourself, imagine you’re talking about a friend’s accomplishment. This mental shift removes the emotional discomfort and helps you speak more objectively about your achievements.
For example, rather than mumbling “It was a group effort” when complimented on a successful presentation, try:
- “Thanks for letting me know. I took a different approach, and I’m really happy it worked out as planned.”
- “I appreciate that feedback. I put significant effort into structuring that presentation differently.”
- “That’s great to hear! I was hoping the new format would resonate with them.”
Notice how none of these responses diminish your contribution or sound arrogant. They simply acknowledge the work you did and express genuine satisfaction with the outcome.
Making Your Wins Visible Without Being “That Person”
Another brilliant strategy is to report your own success as news. For instance: “Hey boss, good news! I just heard from Sarah that the client was happy with the presentation and we won the business. I’m excited to move forward with the team. Do you have any feedback for me?”
This approach accomplishes several things at once:
- It ensures your boss knows about your win
- It frames the achievement as beneficial to the team
- It shows you’re open to feedback and continuous improvement
- It creates an opportunity for your boss to acknowledge your contribution
The key difference between this and annoying self-promotion is the genuine enthusiasm for the team’s success, coupled with the request for feedback. This demonstrates both confidence and humility—a powerful combination.
The Follow-Through That Seals Your Reputation
After receiving acknowledgment, resist the urge to keep talking or diminish your contribution. A simple “Thanks, I’m really excited to have this one for the team” closes the conversation on a positive, professional note.
What I’ve found most effective is creating a system to track these wins. Keep a document of your accomplishments, client feedback, and successful projects. This not only helps during performance reviews but also builds your confidence in discussing your contributions.
Remember, advocating for yourself isn’t arrogant—it’s necessary. In a world where visibility often trumps ability, learning to professionally highlight your contributions isn’t just a nice skill—it’s essential for career advancement.
The next time someone compliments your work, take a breath, smile, and own it. Your career will thank you.